Fishing at our family reunion - St John Kansas
"There you go again, Russell, burning the candle at both ends." Those words from my stepdad echoed through my twenties like a persistent alarm I kept hitting snooze on. As a young man with dreams of conquering the world, I dismissed his caution as the voice of someone who didn't understand my ambition. Thirty-five years later, I still feel that familiar tension between my capacity and the diminishing returns of my efforts.
The warnings continued throughout my journey. My father-in-law, a modern-day Jethro modeling the wisdom of Exodus 18:17, would look at my frenetic business pace in my thirties and candidly tell me, "What you're doing is not good." Like Moses trying to judge every dispute himself, I was spread impossibly thin, taking on too much and delegating too little. Later, in my forties, my dad would offer his gentle reminder with the care only a father can: "Russell, you're a limited commodity."
These weren't criticisms—they were life preservers thrown to a man drowning in his success. Their sage caution protected me from running myself into the ground more times than I can count.
You can’t give out of an empty cup. If you’re poured out then it’s time to let it fill up once again with life giving activities starting with what you enjoy doing!
Watch for the Whirlwind
Today, in my coaching practice, I see the same tendency in leaders everywhere. They're running at full throttle, fulfilling every commitment without considering the cost to themselves and those they love. Just this week, I sat across from Clint, a construction project executive whose story mirrors that of my younger self.
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Clint is juggling six new projects, navigating endless challenging tasks, conducting mid-year reviews for his twelve direct reports, and preparing updates for his C-suite meetings. He's caught in what his old mentor called "working in the whirlwind"—construction's constant state of reactive urgency where you grab hold of whatever you can and work on what's immediately in front of you.
Our coaching session centered on a fundamental truth: being stretched thin isn't a badge of honor—it's a warning sign. We explored critical questions that every leader running redline should ask themselves:
What are you doing to take care of yourself?
How are you recharging your energy?
What do you need to let go of?
Clint met with his direct report, learning one of the guys was running redline. Clint rallied with support, giving him critical time off from work. He later realized his guy spent 3 days in silence fishing. Sometimes, the best thing to recharge is next to nothing to restore your reserves. Clint is a generous, supportive leader. He's got the back of his team. The irony for Clint is that he struggles to extend the same kindness to himself as he does to others.
The challenge isn't just personal—it's organizational. When leaders operate in a state of perpetual overwhelm, they miss opportunities to leverage the resources around them. Sometimes, the solution isn't working harder; it's working smarter by accepting help and knowing your limits. This shift can bring a sense of relief and empowerment, knowing that you're not alone.
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The fathers in my life taught me that burning the candle at both ends doesn't make you twice as bright—it just burns you out twice as fast.
Their wisdom passed down through generations, offers timeless guidance: pause, consider your energy, and remember that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is to stop trying to do everything.
In the whirlwind of life and leadership, the question isn't whether you can handle it all—it's whether you should.
You have only one life to live! Make the most of it even it means saying no and letting a few things go!
