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Insights from a Cohort of Master Facilitators
It's a privilege to be part of a cohort of master facilitators dedicated to developing leaders who can thrive in high-pressure environments. Our recent conversation centered on a critical distinction: stress is inevitable, but distress is a choice. The question isn't whether leaders face stress—they always do—but how they respond to it.
The Foundation: Two Kinds of Stress
Hans Selye, the pioneering endocrinologist who introduced the concept of biological stress in 1936, distinguished between "distress" (negative, destructive stress) and "eustress" (positive, growth-producing stress). As one facilitator noted, "Stress is a fact of life. You are going to be in stressful environments nearly all the time." The critical variable is whether we choose to be distressed in the midst of it.
Our group explored this through a striking case study: a field operations supervisor who, when facing any stressful situation, would retreat to a hotel for days to recover. "I didn't know how he even survived being a manager," one facilitator reflected. The contrast? Leaders who emerge energized from stress—those who view challenges as opportunities to make better decisions, engage more people, and become more observant.
The Neuroscience of Attention
Dr. Amishi Jha's research with military personnel reveals how stress hijacks our attention systems. She describes three attention modes: the flashlight (focused concentration), the floodlight (broad awareness), and the juggler (executive function). Under stress, especially when we're constantly in hypervigilant "floodlight" mode, our cognitive resources become depleted, making clear thinking nearly impossible.
The encouraging news? Jha's studies show that just 12 minutes of daily mindfulness practice can stabilize attention even under intense stress. For military personnel preparing for deployment, this practice made the difference between degraded performance and maintained—even improved—focus.
Practical Tools for the Tactical Pause
Our cohort discussed two powerful techniques leaders can use immediately:
Box Breathing (The Navy SEAL Technique)
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts
Hold your breath for 4 counts
Exhale through your mouth for 4 counts
Hold empty for 4 counts
Repeat for at least 5 minutes
This four-by-four pattern shifts the body from "fight or flight" to "rest and digest," creating an alert, grounded state. As one facilitator noted, "I tie it to Navy SEALs using it when they're breaching a building, so why can't you use it?"
The Personal Tactical Pause
One participant shared a framework they teach regularly:
Begin with one minute of box breathing
Ask four questions:
What am I feeling right now? (physically and emotionally)
What am I believing that's causing these feelings? (about myself, others, and the situation)
What's the truth? (from the perspective of someone wise)
What's the most important thing to do right now, based on the truth?
This process works because, as the facilitator explained, "What I'm believing in the moment isn't the truth, especially when I give voice from a different perspective."
The Work of Transformation
Our conversation acknowledged that neural pathways formed in chronically stressful environments create default distress patterns. Yet neuroplasticity research shows these patterns can change. One colleague's testimony was powerful: "I used to be an extremely stressful person... I talk to myself when I find myself in a difficult situation. I don't need to be this way. And it's really helped out a great deal."
The key is identifying trigger points—those situations where stress most readily becomes distress. We help leaders ask: "What was it about that situation? What were you trying to protect? What value was being threatened?" Often, overwhelming stress signals a threat to something we hold dear: competence, justice, control, or safety.
Building Capacity Over Time
Leadership development requires patience. As our group agreed, we plant seeds through workshops, reinforce them in one-on-one sessions, and trust that "those seeds will continue to be watered." The goal isn't to eliminate stress, but to build the capacity to choose our response.
As Selye wrote, "Stress is the spice of life." Our work as facilitators helps leaders experience that spice without being overwhelmed—to use stress as fuel for growth rather than allowing it to become a poison. That's the privilege of serving leaders in an increasingly complex world.
For Leaders: A Simple Daily Practice
5 minutes of box breathing
5 minutes of breath-focused meditation
2 minutes reflecting: "Where did my attention go today?"
When stress rises, deploy the Personal Tactical Pause. With consistent practice, what once triggered distress can become an opportunity for growth.
